LGBT Adoption:
Overview
Gay and lesbian people have successfully adopted children through each of the methods below. However, each method poses its own set of challenges. It is important to thoroughly research adoption agencies to ensure you will be welcome, and their protocol is compatible with your adoption needs. Please see our adoption resources for a list of adoption agencies and services known to be lgbt friendly.
Four ways in which you can adopt a child:
- State or Public Agency Adoption - Adopt a child who is in foster care from the public child welfare system. These children tend to be older and have been removed from their birthparents due to abuse or neglect. A series of parenting classes is often required to adopt these children.
- Agency Open Adoption - Plan an open adoption through an adoption agency. Some prospective gay and lesbian parents who pursued an agency open adoption have found that there is a hierarchy of preferred parents for a child, and they are not on top. As a result, they are only offered children with special needs, while heterosexuals are offered the younger, healthier children. This means that the most skillful parenting is required of the gay and lesbian parents entrusted with these children.
- Open Independent Adoption - You find the birth parents who want or need to place their child in an adoption and complete that adoption through an attorney. Some who pursue an independent open adoption risk heartbreak as they go through great effort to track down birth parents only to encounter repeated rejection from those who do not want to deal with them because of their sexual orientation. However, an increasing number of birthparents are openly choosing same-sex couples.
- International adoption - Adopt a child from another country, through an agency or independently. At this point, it is almost impossible to pursue an international adoption as an openly gay couple, or as an openly gay single person. Many of the countries that have children for adoption are extremely prejudiced against gay and lesbian people, and either have explicit laws or policies or implicit cultural or societal “codes” that are against LGBT adoption. Presently, even the most welcoming agencies are exercising extreme caution about representing any LGBT people for international adoption because the process in general is becoming more challenging and even heterosexual couples are likely to face increased barriers. This decision does not reflect the agency’s position in favor of adoption by LGBT adults, but is based on the regulations and laws governing international adoption.
The experiences of prospective parents vary greatly because people's understanding of gay and lesbian parents varies greatly. One person's great adoption experience in Washington, D.C., may be countered by another's impossible experience in Florida . But every day, more and more gay and lesbian people are adopting children who need a loving home.